dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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