there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
