he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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