you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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