Please, let me fuck your mom
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
