The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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