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so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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