I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
