it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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