Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
