I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize