Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize