wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Go christen that room with your naked body.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
