I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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