What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Everclear isn't food dammit
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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