I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
