I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
