I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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