i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
