just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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