Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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