I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
