I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
