I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
My Higher Power is John Stamos
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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