Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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