I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
