If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
