can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
