i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
