let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
