like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
