also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
