alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
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