I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Life is so much better after having sex.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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