If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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