You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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