Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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