her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
