OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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