Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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