Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
