so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
