Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
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