After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
