I wish i was in the wii world.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
you inspire me to be a worse person
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
