My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
