I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
