i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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