whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
