New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize