we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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