Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
