My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
