Please, let me fuck your mom
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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