One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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