This dress was meant to end up on your floor
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
