Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You made out with two different species that night
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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