Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
