Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
