So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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