Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
