what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
