Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
