i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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