Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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