You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
