My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Randomize
