Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
