mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
