why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
