By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
