My brain says no but my pants say off.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
