Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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