i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
